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In the most recent episode of Madame Secretary, “Winter Garden,” Blake Moran, newly promoted from personal assistant to a policy advisor, wrestles with getting two groups with differing goals to work together. One governmental office tasked with fighting malaria is doing a great job using nets but the other, with a decimated budget, is left to deal with the fallout of those treated nets, i.e., harmed sea life. They cannot sanction their continued use. Blake is unsure what to do, and after consulting with Matt, the speechwriter, understands that he needs to bring them together.

He does this, informing both that the Department of Defense will be taking over the project. After they protest, Blake offers an out.

If they can work out a solution, the DoD won’t be needed. This maneuver is necessary to make them see a common enemy as it were, and to find a way to work together. A solution is found. The Secretary herself uses a similar tactic with two countries, Kosovo and Albania. In their case, they share a common enemy, that of fake news being spread by troll farms in a third country. Once that was cleared, they were free to join NATO. Key number one: Differing sides need a common framework, something to unite them.

Patrioticheskie nazvaniya komando. • College of Engineering, Cherthala • Nair Service Society College, Pallippuram.

It could be a threat or an enemy, but it could also be some otherwise arrived at recognition that the goal is more important than the resistance to the other party’s means of reaching it. This brought me back to when I used to oversee communications at a Jewish day school. One parent who came in often to volunteer complained to the head of school about the children’s behavior in the hallways where visitors were concerned. What the head of school did next, I thought, was particularly inspired.

She acknowledged the issue and invited the parent to be on a committee which would find a way to address it. Why was this brilliant? Because when you co-opt a complainant into addressing the issue, he or she will have shifted to become part of the solution. Similarly, in one of my favorite parenting books, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, one of the strategies the authors recommend parents use with kids who have difficulty coping with things is to sit down and facilitate brainstorming with them. Write down all their suggestions about what they could do instead of the unwanted behavior; pass no judgement, make no comment. Afterwards, review with the child the viability of the suggestions, ultimately settling on a few that will work. This too, like the mother brought into a committee designed to solve the problem of hallway behavior, forces buy in, since the complainant becomes problem solver.